Did Dennis Rodman Really Shit All Over Diplomacy?

If the Korea Times is to be believed, and we all know about the quality standard of journalism this organization produces on a regular basis, Dennis Rodman apparently orchestrated quite the shit-show on his latest trip to the DPRK. It was such a disaster, in fact, that he was reportedly told that he will not be allowed to return to the Hermit Kingdom until he completes an alcohol abuse treatment program. A task which he appears to have dutifully abiliged to do upon his return to the States.

According to the report in the Korea Times:

“Rodman was drunk the whole week of his stay. And the night before he left for the U.S., he was drunk unconscious, and vomited everywhere he turned. He even urinated and emptied the bowels in the hallway.”

The article goes on to state, Workers and managers of the Koryo Hotel who witnessed the scene and had to clean the mess were reportedly at a loss for words at such barbaric and uncivilized behavior.

I’m unsure on whether Rodman was swigging North Korean booze, his own illegally imported stock, or both, but one thing is for certain, if the report holds true, Rodman’s latest trip ushers in a new era of diplomacy to the world: the era of poo and puke. This sounds like something straight out of Kissinger’s playbook, minus the bodily fluids of course. But hey, its the 2010’s and diplomatic protocol has to change eventually if we are to accomplish anything, right?

While some may criticize Rodman for his purported over-the-top antics, his experience in Korea is really not all that dissimilar from many-a-disheveled-expat to grace the shores of this fair land. After all, Koreans don’t mess around when it comes to their booze and fresh vomit pizza is a near daily sight in the southern part of the Peninsula. It is very rare that a foreigners drinking habits lead to any sort of trouble with the authorities in the South. However, North Korea is by no stretch of the imagination South Korea, so perhaps attitudes are different when it comes to rock starring a hotel and gracing it with your bodily fluids.

This story certainly does make for an interesting read, and if true, it would give us more insight into Rodman’s debauched trip to North Korea. This story is, however, most likely nothing more than sensationalism on the part of the Korea Times.

According to a comment left on a mutual friends Facebook wall from Michael P. Spavor, who was with Rodman during his entire trip to North Korea and has acted as an emissary of sorts to the country:

I was with Dennis the entire January trip (day and night) and none of the allegations in the Korea Times or RFA articles are true, and trust me I would know. I’m really disappointed and surprised at how easily most of the SK media outlets turn rumour or bullshit leaks into news stories. I now have a better understanding of the poor quality of most of the journalism in SK. For this exact reason in the past few months I’ve outright refused to do interviews or respond to the SK medias questions or inquiries in any way. They’ve therefore resorted to publishing likes and comments they find on my Facebook and twitter feed, call me pretending to be someone I know, trying to befriend me on Kakao talk or Wechat and then transcribe my refusals to comment in their publications. Also I’m aware that governments sometimes release information to the press and while some of the the info is true most of it is just trying to discredit or trash talk North Korea or anyone and anything that has to do with the country. The above poor example of journalism will probably spread like wildfire cause its absolutely ridiculous, and as usual, I don’t give shit! I have a lot of real and meaningful work to do and absolutely no time for reading the Korea Times or the National Enquirer to educate myself. More sports & cultural exchanges coming up … whether or not journalists and or governments decide to throw shit, piss and throw up all over them.

So, there you have it, folks. As much fun as it is to think of Rodman defiling a North Korean hotel, this story is most likely literal BS and just another sorry example of the shoddy journalism we’ve come to know and expect from the Korea Times. While Rodman certainly has made a laughing-stock at recent attempts at diplomacy with North Korea, it appears at least that he did not shit all over everything. That is something that everyone, including the cleaning staff at the Koryo hotel, can be thankful for.