Disclaimer: All names, dates and locations have been changed for obvious reasons.
“I didn’t really understand the gravity of what she was actually doing, of what she was risking. I was more selfish; thinking why isn’t she round here now jumping my bones?”
This is Part Two of the salacious conversation my good friend Horatio and I had about his nine-month affair with his Korean co-teacher / manager.
Make sure to read Infidelity with the Co-teacher (Part One) here; otherwise this probably won’t make a lot of sense.
Where were we?
“Erm. What were we talking about? Ah, yeah. It was great! We just fucking went for it.You know a normal couple can have sex whenever they want, but different rules apply in a situation like this. So for us, the sex was the pinnacle.
From then on we used to meet once a week, like a Tuesday or Wednesday night – or whenever we could get a time window – in a motel for about three hours.
Anyways, she used to make excuses to her husband and he never seemed to be the wiser, really.”
We’ll come back to him, in a bit. What were you like in school? You didn’t get it on in there did ya?
“Yeah, quite a bit actually. We used to touch each other up in class and stuff, whenever the chance arrived.
But there was one day, when there weren’t many people about; I think there was a school trip or something, and all the kids were out. There were only about three or four teachers in the whole school.
So, we were upstairs in the English classroom and got touched up again. It went beyond the point of no return and so she got up, locked the door and we properly went for it.
It was fucking ridiculous when you think about it, wasn’t it? What if someone walked in then? What the fuck would they say? And what would we say?”
That was pretty fucking risky
“Yeah, it was stupid. But it’s definitely an endearing memory that one.
We saw each other almost every day. We were always in the same classroom.
The other teachers knew we were close. They probably knew what was going on without admitting it to themselves.”
What were you two like in public? Could you ever show any affection to each other?
“I don’t remember many times when we were out and about in public holding hands or anything.
We had a day when we went [somewhere] and walked around all day. That was when it was starting to hit us what we were doing. We consciously made an effort not to just fuck all day long.”
“Cause I felt shit. I asked her if she wanted to stop, and we did for a while. But when we knew I was leaving we carried on as we were.”
Were you ever racked with guilt?
“Yeah, a few times. Later down the line.
First off it was all about the sex. But when it became less about the sex and more of a relationship, that was when I started to feel crap.”
What about her? Was she racked with guilt?
“I think she was, quite a lot, yeah.
I didn’t really understand the gravity of what she was actually doing, of what she was risking. I was more selfish; thinking why isn’t she round here now jumping my bones?
What she really should have been doing was trying to sort it out with her husband, shouldn’t she? Or breaking up with him.
They got married and pregnant within 6 months. Their relationship started out fine, but it descended into what it always does… boredom.”
What was their relationship like?
“Her main thing was that he was always rude to her. She didn’t like the way he spoke to her.
One day she came to school and she told me they’d had a party that weekend. A family get together kind of thing, and she had ignored him or been rude to him. After everyone left he fucking lost it, they were screaming at each other in front of the kids and he kicked a table. She said that she went down stairs, got in the car and was going to drive over to mine and stay over. I remember thinking ‘Thank fuck she didn’t’. I wasn’t ready for that. We definitely couldn’t have handled it if it came out.”
Did it bother you that she was getting it from her husband as well as you?
“For a while it didn’t bother me, but the longer it went on, yeah, it did.
Again, being 23, I had it in my head that sex with her husband was the same as it was with me, which obviously it wasn’t. But in my mind she was loving it from the both of us.”
Did she lie there and think of you, do you think?
“Nah, I think she enjoyed it so little that she just wanted it over and done with. I think their relationship was really suffering for a while.”
Did you ever meet her husband?
“Twice, when it was fully going, yeah. The first time I was shitting myself, but managed to hold it together. I felt absolutely crap afterwards.”
You said he was quite nice to you, didn’t ya?
“Well obviously yeah, cause he didn’t know what the fuck was going on, did he?
I don’t think he could even conceive what was happening between us. Though Jade did say, at the time, that he suspected her of cheating. But not with me!”
It’s illegal in Korea, isn’t it? You can get sent down for it. Did you know that at the time?
“Yeah, a Korean friend told me that it’s illegal. But at the time we were in the early days and I didn’t really think too much of it. Almost everyone seemed to be doing it from what I saw in the motels.
She was definitely risking it all; doing something like that. I didn’t really appreciate that, didn’t really think about it.
I should have just enjoyed it. Enjoyed the sex when it was available and not been bothered otherwise.
I did get a bit more involved as it went on. But it wasn’t love, definitely not. Definitely not! She told me she loved me, but I don’t think she did.”
“I don’t know. I don’t know. Don’t ask me why…
It wasn’t like a real relationship really; it was a full-blown affair. It was just shagging. We were both just trying to get what we wanted from it.
I think the whole thing for her was an escape. It wasn’t me that she wanted, really.”
Did the two of you ever entertain the idea of coming clean?
“Not really. If anything was to happen I said she should just blame me. Say it was all me going after her cause I was young and stupid, and desperate. But she was like ‘No, no. We’ll go down together.’
I don’t know if she’d have actually done that if it had all come out. I’m not sure.”
So what was it like when you left? Was it emotional?
“I was upset when I said goodbye to her. I cried. It was the first time I cried over a chick, I think? Anyway, I was genuinely sad when I said goodbye to her.
But at the end, my fun was over. You know when your relationship gets to that stage, about six or seven months in, when it starts settling into normality: that was when I was glad to be leaving. The last few weeks she’d ring me up crying cause I was leaving. I was on the other end of the phone just going through the motions. I wasn’t bothered at all.
How does Jade look back on it all now, do you think?
“Actually, she’s got a scar on her cheek as a kind of memento.
Once she tripped on my leg as we were walking up the stairs in school and really smashed her face. It was nasty and made a fucking horrible sound. There was blood all down her face; it was a right mess. It probably wouldn’t have happened if we weren’t together. She wouldn’t have been that close if we weren’t doing anything.
So now, whenever she looks in the mirror, she’ll see this kind of memento from our time. But, I think she looks back on it as a good memory.
Though I only look back on the sexual things now and think, thank god that’s over.”
Do you regret it?
“No, cause I got away with it. Do you know what I mean? Straight talking, I got away with it, so I don’t regret it.
Though I probably should have taken it a bit less seriously.”
What about Jade, does she regret it?
“Probably not. No.”
Have you been in contact with her since?
“We were for a while, but I haven’t heard from her in years now.
I don’t know what it’s been like for her ever since. I don’t know whether she’s been with anyone else or sorted it out with her husband, or what.”
Would it happen again?
“From what I’ve seen growing up, it seems that everyone does it at least once. I’m not going to look for it, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it did.
You need a brass ring piece if your gonna do it and I think Jade had one. She had the personality to handle it.
It’s buried in the past now. I wouldn’t do it now. Definitely not.”
Before closing the computer and rushing back to the hagwon, I logged onto my Facebook account to take a look at her photos. Her account, however, had been deleted making any possible contact between Horatio and Jade more-or-less impossible. As mentioned in Part 1, this all happened many, many years ago. Horatio is now back home and living the good life with his family. As for Jade, both Horatio and I wish her the best of luck.